all i know is that i don't

As I walked across the stage I knew the world had so much to offer me. With my degree in hand and a cap on my head the world was my oyster, and this was the first step in cracking it open. Little did I know what would happen when I opened that oyster. Sometimes it smells like rot from the bottom of the ocean, other times like the sweet smell of an ocean breeze.

I've experienced both in the last two years.

As you may know I adopted a new phrase for everything in the last few months-whatever! Life gives you lemons and they turn out to be rotten? Whatever! Job sucks? Whatever! Missed a loan payment by mistake? Whatever! There is jut no better way to deal with life than, Whatever!

With eternal gratitude I must admit 2010 is beginning to prove itself. It will in no way make up for 2009, but I am not looking for that anyways. I am simply hoping and praying for joy and peace in 2010. I sound a bit like a Christmas carol here, but it's the truth. Peace, joy, and love. What better things to live your life by?

Within two months of graduation I already had a "career" in place. I debated if I might tour the world before "settling down" but with no funds to tour with and a job in my lap, I went the career route. I don't regret it. But I also don't understand it. I'm amazed I've made it this far, but how much longer will I last? To be fair it's gotten better in the last 6 months or so. It gives me hope for the future, but I still wonder where God wants me in the future. But I can't know that. All I can really know is today and what plans God has for me in this moment. Life is meant to be lived and I am learning to enjoy the moment. I am confident I am exactly where God wants me to be right now. I don't know why I have such great confidence in this, but I have felt this way for some time.

At 23 I have plenty of life to live. I don't know what the future holds and each day I imagine it looking quite different. What will I be? Where will I live? Who will I become? What is to come? However, the only actual important question is who am I living for? And guess what. I actually know the answer to this one. I live for God. I don't know where that will lead me but a little mystery is always exciting, right? Mystery and adventure-some of God's greatest qualities.