mental purge

Part of me is writing this blog solely because I like the way the keys on my laptop feel on the tips of my fingers. I am also writing this because I've realized a lot about myself in the last few weeks/months.

I realized that working out really makes your body tired, but feels OH-SO-GOOD.

I realized that I like my job a lot more than I used to. I realized that while I may not be called to this particular job forever, I AM called to kids, and I AM called to this job at this point in my life. There is no where else I should be and I am hear for a reason.

I realized that my best friend and I laugh EXCESSIVELY.

I realized that I am MUCH more confident than I used to be. And when I say "used to" I mean that I am more confident than I was a few years ago, a few months ago, and even a few weeks ago.

I realized that I am 23. Not 32, not 302. I am YOUNG and enjoying life. I have so much left to live and life is just not worth living if you can't laugh your way through it. Being embarrassed or shameful really does no good for anyone. Laughing, however, brings joy to everyone.

I realized that I am more independent than I ever knew I was. It's hard for me to be dependent on others, even though sometimes I (used to) wish someone would take care of me.

I realized that healing takes a leap of faith; a leap I took that I am waiting to see the results of.

I realized that I am not scared of boys anymore (I don't think so).

I realized that I've struggled with some bitterness in my life, but that time is over. Phew.

I realized that I really DO enjoy my friends. I enjoy good company and catching up with people. People aren't as draining as they used to be but i am not sure how or why that has changed.

I realized that I care a lot more about people than I used to.

I realized that I want to be around people who are supportive, encouraging, and challenging.

I realized that I have been given the gift of patience, I just didn't know I had it. I'm not sure if it's new or old gift, but either way I know i have it.

I realized that I am NOT in a rush.

I realized that friendship is really important to me.

I realized how much I have to be grateful for.

I realized that I love life. I love my life.