ilovemylife

Sunday, August 29, 2010

signs you know you're watching the BET awards

[this post is thanks in part to my sister, Rev. Corrina]

Top reasons you know you're watching the BET awards:

1. The entire audience sings along to every song.
2. A gospel choir shows up in every song.
3. At least half the artists make references to artists who have recently done time.
4. You mistake at least one artist's mom for his girlfriend because, let's be honest, she probably had him at 14.
5. Everyone loves Jesus.
6. Everyone thanks Jesus.
7. Yolanda Adams performs.
8. Chris Brown does a tribute to Michael Jackson, who had already written a biography by the time said performer was born.
9. The show more resembles a pentecostal worship service than an actual award show.
10. You can't remember the last award that was actually given.
11. Queen Latifah's sexuality is still up for debate (thanks large in part to her own commentary).
12. During every commercial break you see an ad for anti-frizz hair products.
13. The only song featuring a white girl is performed instead by a black girl.
14. Eminem is still considered black (and still allowed to perform in above mentioned song).
15. Stevie Wonder makes an appearance and no one knows why.
16. Half the audience is wearing white.
17. Someone remakes a song originally sung by a white person, and does a better job at it.
18. The artist formally known as "Prince" joins in on his own tribute by wearing a shirt with a picture of himself on it.
19. Two names: Alicia Keys and Patty Labelle.
20. The audience leaves at the end of the night complaining of arm spasms (see #9).


Happy watching.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

i have this problem

I have this problem where I think about things too much, I feel too much, I think some more, I get overwhelmed, I panic a little, think about it some more, freak, then make a decision. By no means do I love that I do this, it's just something I've always done. The trouble is, no matter how much I hate that I do it, it always seems to work. My best decisions are made over the course of some serious T-I-M-E. I do it with freakin' everything. Even you had to sit with me as I debated over Facebook. Facebook people, FB! What's so stressful about that?

Speaking of which, in case you haven't seen for yourself, I kept FB. Rather, I'm keeping FB. I realized a few things about it:

1. I don't like how OTHER people treat FB.
2. I don't want to turn into above mentioned people.

I used to think that if the only place I talked to a person was through FB, then they can't really be a "close" friend. While I think that remains true to some extent, I also realize that life and distance can and does get in the way of true friendships and familial ties. Because that is unacceptable, I have chosen to keep FB. It means more to other people than it does to me. And what can I say? I'm a people pleaser.

In other news, I still don't know what to "theme" this darn blog. Instead I will continue to blog what I want, when I want, hopefully more often than not. Did you notice my absence? I know you did. Well, I must admit it has everything to do with my opening statement regarding my obsession with thinking. Maybe somewhere not-so-deep-down I thought that if I gave myself an ultimatum, if I told myself I couldn't write another blog until it revealed my new blog theme, then I would come up with some fabulous idea, propose it to "Real Simple" and be the next "Julie & Julia". Unfortunately that's not how it works. So here I am, continuing to blog simply what comes to mind for whoever even read this darn blog. Wait, I just lied. I don't really write this for you. I write this because I write. That's what I do, it's how I process all those thoughts I otherwise become overwhelmed by. I like making you laugh, but really only because it made me laugh first. Welcome to my world. Welcome to the jungle.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

writing and rambling

I've been writing and rambling on this blog for about two years now. I've gone through a few name changes and taken a leave of absence or two. As I write post 99 I am contemplating what 100 could be. A good friend (who didn't know I had a blog) told me tonight that I should start a blog. As much as I laugh at some of my own posts, I'd love to have a little more of a theme with what I I put out there for the world to read. I have a few ideas, but nothing concrete. With post 100 I'd like to start that journey...the journey of what "Scribbles" could be. Help me?

Friday, August 13, 2010

i made the jump

Well, not so much of a jump as it was a leap.

I joined FB again. I am a little bit hating that I did, but I am only committed to a week. (Side note: this is beginning to feel like..oh, what's the word? Not purgatory...when you ask forgiveness from your priest as a Catholic? I am such a terrible "religion" major. You get the idea. I'm confessing. OH YA! Confession. I feel like I am going to confession.)

So I rejoined FB. I HATE that it is so easy and that my whole profile is back up and running just as I left it. To be honest I haven't looked through it at all, but I can tell that it's me from 2 yrs. ago. That's a really odd thought. It's kinda like looking through one of those junior high journals I mentioned in an earlier post.

Judge me if you like, I really don't care. The deal is this: I am committing to 1 week of FB (until next Friday) when I will decide what to do with it. Chances are HIGH that I will be "deleting" it once again, but at least at that point I can tell people I tried. I give thanks? gratitude? credit? to one particular friend for this move. I am doing it solely for her. I doubt I'll keep it. At the same time I am interested to see what will happen with it. Ugh. This is the crap I HATE about FB. I hate the hold it can have on you. I hate that it represents my life. I care too much what is presented to others, so this is just one more thing for me to obsess over. Maybe I am in a better place though now? Who knows. I'll keep you posted.

This should be interesting.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

a few things

To be totally honest, as I do so well, I haven't had many "blog thoughts" lately. I guess I am too busy living life. And I don't mean that in the "I'm too busy to talk to you" sort of way, it's just fact! Part of the problem is that I can't say I love talking about myself, what I did last week or this morning, or how I am feeling. Talking about such things are a little too "dear diary" for my taste. Besides, if I wanted to do that I could just get Facebook. Oops--did I just say that?

Speaking of which, the Facebook debate continues. I cannot tell you how many times I am asked in a week "you don't have Facebook?" or told "You HAVE to get a Facebook!". You'd think I was avoiding buying into the cell phone concept because of my awesome, see-through acrylic blue pager. Don't get me wrong, my mouth all but waters when I have the opportunity to sift through a photo album on Facebook. I feel slightly guilty for the sensation I get clicking vigorously through the photos as I try to soak in the contents of someone else's life. I would say the feeling is somewhat comparable to flipping the latest "People", although perhaps better because these people I actually know (unless I get a little too crazy and end up on a page I could not even trace my steps back from). Gosh I sound like such a stalker, but maybe it's because I am! Ok, perhaps I revealed too much. Crap.

Well, there are my current thoughts on Facebook. I actually considered reactivating my account today for a week or so to "try it out". While I am at it I am going to pick up some crack to share with a heroin addict down the street for the week to see if he's is still addicted. With that being said, I am sticking to my guns and continuing my Facebook BREAK.

In other news, I realized how freakin' seriously I've taken life until, well, now. If you know me at all you know I am a clutter nazi. I hate clutter. It makes me a little nauseous and I will gladly do without. In light of that I took time this week to sort through my closet. Mind you, I probably have a lower tolerance for things needing to be sorted through than is probably healthy, but I love it nonetheless. In the process of sorting through the typical girlish fair that I probably did not need in the first place, I decided to sift through a box of photos and journals. These were my initial observations:

1. I have written a LOT in my short life.
2. I was quite a tubby child.
3. I don't have any desire to go back to any point in my life.

Mind you, that last point is not to say I had a terrible life or lived a miserable existence. However, I would SO much rather live the life I have now. I am not super awesome, wealthy, popular, or talented, but I know that I am created in God's image and he has given me great abilities. Nothing is too big or scary to try (?), nothing is too embarrassing to share. Laughing is ALWAYS more fun. Nothing is the end of the world except the end of the world, which I have no control over. Control is overrated and perfection impossible.

As I read through journals dating back to Jr. High I literally cringed at the things I put so much though and energy towards. I'm sure I'm not the only one to devote probably a book's worth of pages to the boy I liked, but in reading those pages I was reminded of the anxiety, stress, and frustration I put myself through. I thought too much. I wrote too much. I feared life and what it would do to me.

So here I am, at 23, probably more naive and ignorant than I'd like to admit, but I am truly happy. God has given me the peace and joy I've prayed so diligently for this year. After all, ignorance is bliss-right?