always read between the lines

Earlier I read one of those "letter from the editor" type of articles you find on the last page of a magazine. You know, the ones whose primary purpose is to get you to see that final ad on the inside back cover, er, I mean read to the very last page. These articles tend to be somewhat inspirational, bordering on influential. If not that, they at least make you stop to think for a minute, realizing the truth of the words spelled out by the editor from thousands of feet up in the air, then feel a slight twinge of guilt for not being able to live your life with such freedom/discipline/patience/some-other-positive-life-style-we'd-all-like-to-strive-for.

But today I noticed something a little different. To be honest I don't totally remember the point of this particular 100-word article. I remember the picture that took up 75% of the page, but not the point. However, one thing did stand out to me. The editor/author made a comment about being "overwhelmingly busy, like all of you." To which I thought, "that's not true." While that may be true for some, I can't exactly say the same for myself. If I compare my life to what I perceive her life to be like, I'm the tortoise and she's the hare. This wasn't always the case, even though her "busy" has and will always be worth a lot more than my "busy" (monetarily that is).

While those thoughts might make a person feel a little down about themselves-shoot, a year ago it would have made me feel down about myself-my next thought was, "I don't really want that life". I don't want the "overwhelmingly busy" life so many people love, or rather, find value in. I'm not happy when my life is characterized by anything considered overwhelming.

Now, I realize you might be thinking, "yes darling, just wait until you have kids" or "maybe you are becoming complacent" or "oh sweetie, you are so young and naive" but I am going to go out on a limb here and say that to at least some extent you determine the life you live. I realize there are many, many factors that play into where life leads. Even I have been overwhelmed by life in the last few years (haven't we all?). So while I may be young and naive, I know enough to say that people who are overwhelmed are not fun. Overwhelmed people are stressed, emotional, don't think straight, confuse easily, and are short with others. I don't want to be that person. I don't like that person, so why would I want to be them? I will not call the kettle black.

The impact of these thoughts was only made greater by the fact that as I read the article I was being held by an 18 month old sleeping baby boy. From here I could have laid this sweet boy on the couch to do the dishes, sweep the floor, and pick up the house for his seemingly overwhelmed mother, but instead I chose to sit with my cheek resting on his toe-head locks filtering the warmth permeating from the heavy weight that rested on my chest. Instead I chose to live in the moment, to rest in the moment. How often does a bouncing, running, jumping, climbing 18 month old boy want to cuddle and rest on your chest in the mid-morning hours of a house waiting to be wrecked?

From this article I learned two things:

1. Live in the moment

2. Read between the lines

The message I found was not the one intended. I'm glad I found it though. I'd much rather live in the moment and actually be present in my own life. You've heard the phrase "stop and smell the roses" and after a mid-morning slumber we literally did just that. So go, find some roses, by yourself or alone, and smell them. Really smell them. They really do smell good. "Rose" is not just a perfume, not just a scent created by man to make woman smell sublime. It comes from good ol' nature and it smell better coming from that coral rose in your neighbor's garden than it does from the dusty perfume bottle buried in your medicine cabinet.

Being present is more than raising your arm to have your name checked off a list. Presence is a mindset. It is realizing this world is bigger than you are. It is acknowledging that you are not in control. There is no need for complacency, just the ability to be present and willing to read between the lines.