a few things

To be totally honest, as I do so well, I haven't had many "blog thoughts" lately. I guess I am too busy living life. And I don't mean that in the "I'm too busy to talk to you" sort of way, it's just fact! Part of the problem is that I can't say I love talking about myself, what I did last week or this morning, or how I am feeling. Talking about such things are a little too "dear diary" for my taste. Besides, if I wanted to do that I could just get Facebook. Oops--did I just say that?

Speaking of which, the Facebook debate continues. I cannot tell you how many times I am asked in a week "you don't have Facebook?" or told "You HAVE to get a Facebook!". You'd think I was avoiding buying into the cell phone concept because of my awesome, see-through acrylic blue pager. Don't get me wrong, my mouth all but waters when I have the opportunity to sift through a photo album on Facebook. I feel slightly guilty for the sensation I get clicking vigorously through the photos as I try to soak in the contents of someone else's life. I would say the feeling is somewhat comparable to flipping the latest "People", although perhaps better because these people I actually know (unless I get a little too crazy and end up on a page I could not even trace my steps back from). Gosh I sound like such a stalker, but maybe it's because I am! Ok, perhaps I revealed too much. Crap.

Well, there are my current thoughts on Facebook. I actually considered reactivating my account today for a week or so to "try it out". While I am at it I am going to pick up some crack to share with a heroin addict down the street for the week to see if he's is still addicted. With that being said, I am sticking to my guns and continuing my Facebook BREAK.

In other news, I realized how freakin' seriously I've taken life until, well, now. If you know me at all you know I am a clutter nazi. I hate clutter. It makes me a little nauseous and I will gladly do without. In light of that I took time this week to sort through my closet. Mind you, I probably have a lower tolerance for things needing to be sorted through than is probably healthy, but I love it nonetheless. In the process of sorting through the typical girlish fair that I probably did not need in the first place, I decided to sift through a box of photos and journals. These were my initial observations:

1. I have written a LOT in my short life.
2. I was quite a tubby child.
3. I don't have any desire to go back to any point in my life.

Mind you, that last point is not to say I had a terrible life or lived a miserable existence. However, I would SO much rather live the life I have now. I am not super awesome, wealthy, popular, or talented, but I know that I am created in God's image and he has given me great abilities. Nothing is too big or scary to try (?), nothing is too embarrassing to share. Laughing is ALWAYS more fun. Nothing is the end of the world except the end of the world, which I have no control over. Control is overrated and perfection impossible.

As I read through journals dating back to Jr. High I literally cringed at the things I put so much though and energy towards. I'm sure I'm not the only one to devote probably a book's worth of pages to the boy I liked, but in reading those pages I was reminded of the anxiety, stress, and frustration I put myself through. I thought too much. I wrote too much. I feared life and what it would do to me.

So here I am, at 23, probably more naive and ignorant than I'd like to admit, but I am truly happy. God has given me the peace and joy I've prayed so diligently for this year. After all, ignorance is bliss-right?