storytime

No, it's not reading time for your toddler.

Although memories of tattered old books, visions of mommies and their toddlers (or nannies in my case) and the dingy smell of library books and baggies of stale goldish might come mind when you think of "storytime", the storytime I am talking about is a little different. The storytime I am talking about elicits visions of an old guy leading equally old worship songs, my pastor and his entourage furiously scribbling down notes, the smell of burnt coffee, and awkward attempts to instigate a varity of emotions through christianese taglines like "this is a story about God's ability to shine in the closet of life" come to mind. Ok, no one ever said that last tagline, but it's pretty darn close to the gems I get to hear every Tuesday, bright and early.

Like I said, every Tuesday our staff comes together to tell stories of what is going on in our respective ministry areas. What started as an opportunity to celebrate what good God is doing throughout our church somehow morphed into what feels like a show and tell-off to get credit and approval for our hard work. Notes are written on a variety of non-iPads (i.e. steno pads), cameras roll tape and game faces are put on. Some love it, some hate it, others just get through it.

I think I am in that last category. In my two years of staff I've shared a few stories, even gotten a few laughs and a shout out or two (bonus points in my book). But generally speaking I look at the stories, the worship, the filming and the awkward silences simply as the start to another Tuesday. The least I'll get out of it is a good laugh at the guy who loves singles ministry an calls me (quietly) "the next children's pastor" and the girl who coughs into the mic (my rommate).

However, lately there is added pressure for us to share at storytime. I'd rather not, but I am willing. I am not quite sure what the drawback is for me. Here are the thoughts that usually go through my head on Monday night in preparation for an early Tuesday start:
1. My story is incomplete
2. My story is cliche
3. My story is boring
4. My story is short
5. My story is not funny
6. Someone else will tell their story, why do I need to share one?
7. I don't have a story
8. I don't like [insert person writing on steno pad in front of me] and I don't want to play along in this game.
9. His/her/their story is much better than mine
10. No one died in my story
11. No one got "saved" in my story
12. Everyone else's story was years in the making and I am only 23.
13. Suck it

Ok no, I don't usually think that last one, but maybe a little small part of my feels that way.

As good as it is to celebrate that God is good, there is something about the gloating--at least how I see it--that drives me bonkers. Storytime seems contrary to that whole "humility" thing we talk about so frequently come the 5pm, 9 & 11am services. Maybe it's all in my head. Or maybe this is one of those "mega church" things I will just never be used to. I'm still not used to all the number reportig stuff, but at least now I expect it. I cannot help but feel like the stories are contrived.

But that is the cynic in me.

I realized something important last week. My supervisor said somethig along the lines of,

"If we don't have stories from the moment and weekend when we are exhuasted, then we need to reevaluate why we are so exhausted becuse we definitely feel it often."

It's true. I'm tired pretty often. This past weeked was a perfect example. Excluding the personal life stuff I did last weekend (was there any??) here's an idea of what my weekend looked like:

Friday: Sleepover with Jr. Highers (pool, food, movies, breakfast...)

Saturday: shopping for parent/Jr. High meet & greet, church*, set up for services, set up meet & greet, blow up balloons, train summer intern, church, clean up, change clothes,
Jr high awards ceremony...home.

Sunday: pick up donuts, set up meet & greet, get service started, head to Jr. high service 25 mins in to see small group girl speak, back to church, meet & greet, church, clean, kick people put, training meeting, home.
*Small Group Celebrations weekend

Attention: This is not an attempt to get your sympathy. This is an extreme (but very real) depiction of a weekend in ministry.

As you can see, a lot happens in a weekend. And the same goes for my personal life. You are no different. You are not excluded from this lifestyle; chances are you're right their with me. But if there are no stories from all we do, and by these I mean the (dare I say) "God stories", then what's the point? Life is worth living when everything you do is for God. Our efforts should not be done in vain to better ourselves or make ourselves look better. Ultimately our efforts only matter when we do them to honor God and bring others to know his name. Our efforts should be for the Kingdom.

I'm nt always good at this. To be honest I'm down right bad at it more often than not. But it's a thought. A thought I am processing and workng through. Unfortunately I think this is one of those things that will always be a work
In progress.

I'd rather work.