elephants in ethiopia

Remember ignoring your parents as a child? Pretending you didn't hear them, when clearly you did?

To be honest, I still do it. No, not with my parents, but most definitely in certain environments I find myself in Monday-Thursday, 9-5 and weekends. (Forgive my vagueness as I'd hate to give away too much detail). **Cough**.

It is not uncommon that someone in above the mentioned environment might find me wired up with earphones securely fastened in the upright position. Please note, I did not say they were on, just that they were securely fastened.

When the music has faded and my hands scurry away at the keyboard or, you know, rolling 2000 pennies into thin paper sleeves, still I continue on. Continue on typing. Continue on rolling those pennies. Continue on pretending I don't hear you to the side of me, you to the front of me, you to the other side of me, you to the back of me, you across the way, you who just walked in, you in the office across from me, you walking past in the hallway, and all other you's in a 10 foot radius or whose voice carries at levels audible to an elephant in Ethiopia.

Speaking of which, sometimes I think I might be the elephant in Ethiopia. You know, the one who can't hear, perhaps even the one whose not listening. There are certain things in life I've tried very hard not to hear. I'm sure we all have those things. The things we ignore about ourselves, our lives, the people around us, and ultimately anything we are in denial about.

Denial is a funny thing. We all do it. And the worst part is we know when we're doing it. I think I might be doing it. Or rather, I've been doing it. We all fight different battles, but maybe it's time to accept reality and stop fighting it.

Why is it so scary to live in reality sometimes? I've got the whole "down to earth" thing down (humility, not so much), so perhaps the issue is needing to stop making things make sense to me, on this earth. Maybe reality is much bigger than that.

What reality are you ignoring? I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours-maybe.

Update

I lied the other day.

While I am very capable of event planning and generally very good at it, I do not find it effortless and I do not find it energizing.

Or perhaps the problem is when I am planning it with other people. People I do not particularly **cough** enjoy. So maybe the real problem is the environment in which I plan the event.

I hope you found salvation or at least had a life-altering epiphany in this little blurt of a blog. I did.

if i had a twitter...

...this is what I'd tweet:

@llison

Monday: Vacation lunch--worth every penny.

Tuesday: Just purchased 32,800 calories [80] worth of churros from Costco. Jamie Oliver would not be pleased.

Wednesday: Why I get paid the big bucks: rolling 2,000 pennies into teeny little wrappers. Filth.

...maybe I'd have a real twitter if I had real people to follow me.

P.S. Yes, I think I am funny.

Questions #1-6

I'm gonna play this game like one of those word association games-say the first thing that comes to mind. I'll elaborate when necessary.

1. What do you do that is almost effortless from your perspective, but seems like a daunting task to others?
Organization. Babies. Oh, but about my job--
Organization
Event planning
Hanging out with kids
Dealing with parents

2. In what arenas do people consider you the "go to" person?
Editing (I tend to avoid being a "go-to" for many things...see question #6)
Decorating
Organization (again??)

3. What facets of your job energize you?
Hanging out with kids/student leaders
Playing

4. What do you wish you could stop doing?
Being in the office
"Meeting" with volunteers

5. What organizational environments are you drawn to?
See question 1
Flexible
Quiet (mostly)
Ones with people who are: funny, organized, committed to excellence

6. What environments do you avoid?
Noisy ones
The office
Ones with people who are: needy, talkative, draining, overly-critical, rude, inconsiderate...

And now my own question:

7. What have I learned by answering these questions?
I am a huge proponent of organization
I really like editing, and people utilize for that ability regularly
I like quiet
I don't like the office

Hmmm...thoughts?

the other "thing"

I recently read a blog about what your "thing" is. Ok-here's your chance to go read the blog then come back to hear what I have to say. Go ahead now, just don't forget to come back.

Now where were we? Oh yes, my thing. I can think of lots of things. Right now I am thinking about food (a more common occurrence than I'd like to admit). Earlier I was thinking about, well, probably food again. OK, OK, this isn't going well. I think about clothes, about my job, how much sleep I got, what errands I need to do, if I need to do laundry, what my plans are for the week, who do I need to make an effort to contact....and the list goes on.

I am a girl. I think ALL the time. My best friend just gave a sermon in J.High about the difference between boys and girls. Boys are waffles, girls are spaghetti (yes, she stole it from a book). Boys compartmentalize things. When they say they are not thinking about anything, they are really not thinking about anything. When they watch a movie, that's what they are doing-watching a movie, and that's it.

Girls on the other hand are think constantly. We're like that "Google" commercial-have you seen it? Name one word and I'll give you 10 thoughts. Wanna bet?

Here goes--Rabbit:

I really want a bunny, I went to the mall by myself looking at bunnies, I do a lot of things by myself, I really like being by myself, is that weird? Oh well, I don't really care what you think. I'm honest. I'm bold. I have no shame. Yes, I know that's a ballsy thing to say. My friend M* is ballsy, she'll say anything to the point where it hurts. I don't want to hurt people, I hope I have more grace on people than her. I should probably stop being so judgmental of people. If you want to rock the Australian-uber-trendy-modern-man-mullet haircut then go for it. We had a worship worship leader this morning with hair like that-it was AWESOME. It was nice sitting with L* this morning. She's not engaged yet but she will be soon! I can't wait for her. It must be hard to wait. Learned I am not in much of a rush-at least not as much as maybe I thought I was........

See? Spagetti I'm telling you. Spaghetti.

Anyways...all that to say that life is full of things. Material things, job things, work things. But what is the one thing I want? The one thing that makes me forget all the other things. In all honesty, I don't even know if I know. I like doing lots of things. I have hobbies, passions, dreams, desires. I've got all of that. But what is my one thing?

At a conference recently we were encouraged to answer the following 6 questions to help us "discover" our dream job-what it is I am good at. My calling perhaps?

1. What do you do that is almost effortless from your perspective, but seems like a daunting task to others?
2. In what arenas do people consider you the "go to" person?
3. What facets of your job energize you?
4. What do you wish you could stop doing?
5. What organizational environments are you drawn to?
6. What environments do you avoid?

Answering these questions seems worthy of another blog (or a few) but also a worthy task.

I'm excited about where this is going. Excited about where this is leading me.

So what's your thing?

thing(s) i'm learning

I learned today to bring an extra [eek] bra with you to a baptism. Either that, or assume the worst and wear your swimsuit like you planned.

I also need a new blog title. Why do you ask? Because I'd like to close, 'er, move on from the "Gluten Free-dumb" phase of life. Sure, I still can't eat the stuff, but it's just so much easier not dwelling on it. This blog never really ended up being what I thought it would be, despite my [feeble] attempts.

Through the last two years I have learned to laugh at life and not take myself so seriously. Laughter is good. Laugh excessively-that's my new motto (as of the three seconds ago I just typed it).

To be honest I've been somewhat inspired by a few other blogs I've read recently-not the serious kind. Well, by "not-serious" I mean funny, but very real. Authentic. Authenticity is something I'd like to strive for. I am a relatively honest person, which thankfully I've mostly learned to use to my (and others') advantage, but authenticity is more than that. People appreciate authenticity, and I think authenticity elicits change. Authenticity acknowledges what everyone else is thinking, bringing it out into the open for what is necessary-conversation.

This is what I am thinking about, what are you thinking about?

Oh, and do you have any ideas for a blog title for me?

maybe I forgot

...or maybe I simply blocked it out, but I was just reminded of how it feels to
plan VBS. Until now it felt like any other event in the not so far future. Until now it felt doable. Round two-totally easier, right? Maybe, but it's not that easy. I've had enough other things going on in the last few weeks/months to the point where this was the last thing on my mind. I knew the time would come when it would come to rule my life again, if only for three month. Yikes! Three months? Really? So far and yet so near. So long and yet not long enough out. I'm determined to enjoy the process. To appreciate volunteers who are gung ho and ready to go. I'm determined to continue liking my job, if only for this time in life. Will this ever be something I am actaully "good" at or will God continue to use this as a growing opportunity? I thought I already told him I'd grown enough but perhaps I wasn't clear. Or perhaps he didn't really care.

Dear VBS,
You may try to take over my life. You may actually succeed at it for a time. But I want you to know that you can't consume me; I won't let you. I am not working hard at you for the sake of your name or glory. Nor am I working hard at you for the sake of our church's namesake-or even my own. I am working hard at you for the sake of the Kingdom, for Christ's namesake. He is bigger than you. Although I may look like a failure, He loves me nonetheless. Despite my flaws, lack of experience, and faithlessness, he will work in and through me. Afterall, isn't that what I am here for?

Sincerely,

Alli$on (because yes, I still think I am funny and will continue finding the humor in life despite the craziness that consumes it)