I made it!

I can't believe it's already been a week since we left for camp! Just one week ago I was panicking to get everything ready to go, get organized, get packed, and all while trying to stay sane! Well, I don't know how well I accomplished that, but the weekend happened without much of a hitch! A broken down bus and a few crazy med schedules, but other than that, it was a great weekend!

There are a few things that stand out to me about camp:

1) I got to know some of the kids in a new light. This is something I don't feel I get a chance to do on weekends since I am usually running around like a crazy person. Although this is unfortunate, I have to remember that our goal is to feed into our leaders who can feed into our kids. But the minister in me can't help but want to know and understand our kids and where they're at. Which brings me to something else I love about camp.

2) It was so encouraging to know that the theme and verse we were called to way back in phase 1 of planning really was/is where our kids are at. This year's verse, Psalm 18:2a, talks about God as our rock and foundation, that he is our safe place. In these crazy times our kids need to know that regardless of circumstances, God is our safe place and we mus make him the foundation of every aspect of our life.

3) Added benefit of camp: getting to hang out and know my co-workers on a different level and in a different context. As always, going away with people and spending time with them in a new place tends to bring out the best and worst of people, and ultimately brings you closer together. I love being part of a team that understands me for me. No, they don't totally get me yet, but in time, I am faithful that they will.

And finally, I didn't get sick! I brought all my own food, and although it was really difficult to find the time to eat and/or get my own food together, it was well worth the hassle that being sick can cause. Sure, everyone asks you about what you are eating and why you are eating it, but I must admit it is all worth it when you can say that you made it through a weekend away without serious cramping, bloating, and general digestive discomfort. However, I must also admit how frustrating it was to have to constantly explain myself. I am not one to bring attention to myself, but my situation tends to do that. While one person commenting on my food or asking me about it may not seem like a big deal to them, it does make a big deal to me. Why? Because it's not just one person asking me about my situation, everyone asks me about it. I cannot blame them though. I would be curious too. Let's be honest, I still am curious.

We had one 5th grade girl with potentially serious food allergies (possible induced by her mother) who also came to camp with her own food. I could not help but snoop through her cooler and dried goods to see what she eats, perhaps in hopes that I would have some new epiphany or discover a new GFDF food I was not aware of. But, much to my ado, I found the very same foods I already eat. However I did discover that this child eat an absurd amount of beef. Beef and dried fruit. Lord only knows how the girl goes to the bathroom.

So, in a nutshell, that was camp. I made it. I survived. And in the end, I loved almost every minute of it. I am also incredibly relieved the weekend is over with for another year.

I'm a little sad...

Guess what!? We got a puppy! Well, D, my roommate, got a puppy, currently and most likely permanently named "Bear." I am super excited about this new addition, especially since he is just the cutest little bugger ever! And so far he is quite well-tempered. I know he is not "mine" but it is still fun to have a new addition to the house, and I am sure I will have plenty of time to play and take care of him over time.

So why am I sad? You see, we were initially going out to get me a bunny. I know it is a silly animal to purchase, and maybe a little weird by some standard, but I grew up owning bunnies, so it seemed like a fun idea. I know they can be a lot of work, but I also just felt the need to be impulsive. Anyways, I was not overly impressed by the bunny selection at the first store, which also happened to be the place we found Bear. So, after buying Bear we moved on to the next pet store...and then the next, and then the next. Apparently people just do not feel the need to provide a good bunny selection (if any) in the O.C.!

After getting a bite to eat (with Bear in tow in D's purse...yes, he is that tiny) we headed off to our fourth and final pet store. However, as we sat reviewing our menu choices, I could not help but feel a little "one-upped." I know it seems silly, but I am guessing, just guessing, that it has something to do with my Youngest-Child-Syndrome. Now don't get me wrong, I love Bear and am so excited to have him, but I am still feeling a little "Penelopied,"--you know, that skit on SNL with Penelope who is the official "one-upper"?

http://videos.humpingfrog.com/18632/2007/06/penelope-skit-on-snl.html

Well, anyways, basically it comes down to me having a moment of impulse that I didn't get to act on although I was totally willing, and then getting overshadowed by the excitement of an expensive, precious, sweet little puppy that I just knew everyone would love. I mean, who really thinks a bunny is more exciting than a puppy? Sadly, I might be over it--the bunny I mean. I don't want to be, but I think I am. And it makes me a little sad...

In the nick of time...

Just when you think you can't take one more step, God seems to intervene in unexpected ways. Tonight we celebrated Global Outreach Weekend (GO) and not only was I fully entertained by a great program, but it was such a relief to really feel like we made the night happen as a team. Amongst all the chaos, confusion, and inaccurate clocks God made it happen. The message was relayed (or so I hope) and we had a great opportunity to open our eyes and hearts to new concepts and people. For once in a long time I did not feel like I was doing it totally on my own. We are all in this together, all working towards the same goal.

Then, in the middle of it all, some of my biggest fears were squashed by people unaware of my current struggles. Thank you God for knowing when to step in. Thank you so such supportive staff and encouraging brothers and sisters in Christ.

Yes, I still have fears and my list still feels infinite, but at least in this moment, I have hope. Hope that will hopefully last.

Time is of the Essence

Do you ever feel like you just cannot quite keep up with life? OK, dumb question. Who does NOT feel like that? If you're out there, please let me in on your dirty little secret.

I am a "yes-person." Yes, I will do this ridiculous task for you, yes, I will "put it on my tab," yes, I will be there, yes, I will hold myself to somewhat ridiculous standards at times, yes, I will go on this errand for you, yes I will take care of this or be on top of that. The real question is, what do I actually say no to? I say no to going out with friends, I say no to baby-sitting when I am scheduled to work, I say no to gluten and dairy-laced foods, I say no to my family, and no to reading my Bible.

I am not the girl who wants to complain for attention or claims that my life is SO much more difficult than yours, but right now it just sucks. Sure, there are perks to being 22 and I love them, but I am currently battling life after college, life after 16+ years of being in school. School is all I have known and although I relieved to have graduated, this new life is harder than I thought it would be. Wow, that takes a lot to admit. Moving on...

Now that I've admitted that, I might as well admit the other things going on in my head that I am not so good at revealing out of fear that no one really cares:

• Losing my job because of the economy
• How I will survive after I lose my job
• Doing my job really well (i.e. Winter Camp, VBS, weekends....)
• Cleaning my house
• Eating food that will not make me sick
• Finding "The One"
• How I will ever manage to take a weekend off
• Having a social life
• Being part of a small group
• Leading my small group
• Not burning myself out
• Reading my Bible
• How I will get to Italy to visit Katherine
• If I will make it to Peru post-VBS
• How I will get to North Carolina to visit Lindsay
• How I will get to Kansas to visit Jenna
• Finishing (starting) my taxes
• Paying back student loans-on time
• Saving long-term
• Maintaining friendships
• That the filming I did on Thursday for Winter Camp is funny and NOT embarrassing
• That I get to spend time with my nieces and nephew
• Starting new hobbies or at least picking up the ones I left off when I left for college
• Being a good example/role model
• Exercising
• Maintaining my weight
• Reading more
• Not stressing out
• Finishing all my 75% read books
• Decorating my house
• Not spending too much money decorating my house
• Wanting new clothes but trying to work with what I have
• Finding that check I need to deposit
• Keeping up with bills

Some seem big, some seem small, but any list this long could (and does) seem daunting. I can only do so much and I'm only 22. But at what point can I not use that excuse anymore? At what point will I see all these things fall into place? Tomorrow is a new day, and as a matter of fact, today is still young.

Going on a bear hunt...A.K.A. Camp

Well, the time is almost here for camp. I've been excited about this trip since I started my job back in July, and although planning it can be stressful at times, I am mostly anxious to get there and get to spend more time with my kids and leaders. And I am also anxious for it to go well.

I've been to camp before post-food allergy, and thankfully that went fairly well. Of course there were the few kids that noticed I was eating different food at almost every meal, but most of them were too busy shoveling food onto their plates and hoarding food like you never knew. Thankfully the leaders were also very understanding. I managed to stash a good stock of food in a random, very unused, very old fridge, and store a few other non-perishables that would keep me in the bathroom but from the discomfort so many foods seem to cause me.

So, like I said before, it's time for camp. I don't know the menu nor do I know how easy it will be for me to bring my own food, but once again I don't really have an option. My plan as of now is to bring enough snacks for between meals and then pack 5 meals that should get me through Friday night through Sunday breakfast. Now if only I had a few more exciting food options that would take the leap from the "bland diet" to the "super, uber, ridiculously flavorful diet." OK, maybe that's too much to ask for, but I'd be happy just to get to the "somewhat flavorful diet."

Speaking of which, I've noticed that I have become very accustomed to spicy foods since becoming GF. At Christmas time my brother-in-law purchased the most amazing pork tamales from a hole-in-the-wall Mexico restaurant that only makes them once a year. I must have eaten them for lunch and dinner for three days straight. I couldn't understand why I thought the tamales were so good, but then I realized it was because they were a new flavor--and what a flavor they were!

So back to my initial point: camp. I am a little nervous about how this will go, and not because I think I will be sick or hungry. I am nervous about the responses I will get from my leaders. I hate being difficult which means that the GF and DF (dairy free) lifestyle is like God's sick little punishment. OK, not punishment. "Character building" life experience. Did I mention that I have enough character? Either that or I just don't care to have any more. Being GFDF means I get a lot of questions and a lot of blank stares. I even get stares from the people who understand the complications of the lifestyle. Much like myself, they look me in the eye, doubting that anyone else could possibly understand their pain.

I guess I should not really complain though. There are safe foods I can eat and I have the means to buy those foods. All I can do is hope and pray that I grow out of my allergies. I grew into in my early 20's, so I should be able to grow out of it just the same, right?