no lazy susan

I haven't been this grateful for a day to end in a long time. Thank you Jesus. I've never more looked forward to putting pajamas on and turning off the world. While I may not be unplugging from my laptop or other such electronic devices, I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to unplug from the world, the week, this month, and today. Nothing particularly bad has happened. In fact, I'm beyond grateful for new and greater, deeper friendships than I've had in the past-er-ever. "Ilovemylife" is something you may hear me say throughout the day. And if you haven't heard it, just assume I'm thinking it.

Arriving at home today, knowing what lie ahead, I was in quite a mood. When Thursday comes, I want the day and week to be done. By Thursday I need space. I need quiet. I need to step aside and away, for just a moment. Tonight, however, would not be the night to do any of those things. So instead of lounging at home catching up on DVR, in the few moments I had, I put myself to bed. I cannot say I fell into a deep slumber, but a deep enough rest to ignore the hunger pang so strong I thought my stomach might turn itself inside out and begin appetizing on it's fellow organs. Upon waking I had a flashback of childhood. Of those few moments where nothing would fix my attitude except the nap I so desperately needed. It's amazing how loud your head and stomach can become when they are not pleased. In the moment before (and ultimately after) my slumber I realized just how loud my body can be. It's crazy how strong and selfish our bodies are. Selfish in this sense can be good and bad. Good because it tells me when I need to STOP. Bad because it will do anything and cross any path to make me do it.

It's my own fault for ignoring my body. I'm a shover, a pusher, and "power through it", a "figure it out", a "we'll make it work", "we'll make it happen", "I'll be OK" kind of person. While all of those things may be totally true and a part of who I am, it also means I will not deal with my own ish for the sake of making something happen and happen well. Just like when I am ravishingly hungry and willing to cross anyone or anything in my path to to satisfy my physical hunger, I am equally willing to plow through life ignoring my ish and avoiding *gasp* feelings for the sake of getting things done.

The concept of getting things done always brings me back to the story of Mary and Martha. In fact, this story has come up a few times in my life recently.

38As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed.[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
Luke 10:38-42

How often do I become consumed with the "doing" part of life? I'm no lazy Susan and I definitely don't spend much time with Jesus' feet. I want to choose the better choice, and I don't want it taken away from me. Our culture is so focused on the doing and getting things done, that we forget to experience the moment. The moments of joy. The moments of laughter. The moments of peace, sorrow, pain, and experiences we may face only once. We forget to experience God's presence, despite that fact that it is constantly smothering us like a coddled baby. I hate that about our culture. I hate that I've let it become who I am--or rather, what I do. I fill my days back to back feeling lazy if I don't. But when do I actually take the time to hear God's voice? How could I with the constant hum of this that and the other. You know the stuff. I don't need to tell you what fills your day, your ear, your wallet, your hands.

Jesus told the rich young ruler in Luke 18: 22 to "Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." While some might say wealth was the young ruler's downfall, I think this is true only in the sense that the young ruler did as he was told making sure to follow the rules and commandments but left no room for the King. By the time the ruler came to Jesus asking for eternal life his hands were too full with the stuff of life to be filled with God's love.

So what's your stuff? What needs to go? God is in constant communication with us and prayer goes two ways. Prayer is not a speech, it's a conversation. God is God no matter what but if we want to experience that in its entirety then we must be willing to make room for him. We must be willing to give up our stuff, take up our cross, and sit at Jesus' feet.

things i find #2

Special branding for soldiers? I guess it's time we get our soldier's some fiber!

crap i find

Go Angels!

Location: Wedding reception parking lot


...too many witty comments to just pick one.

More to come.

follow me #3

Topic: Candy

I don't love candy. I'm not one of those people who just can't turn it down or can't stop myself from finishing a bowl of [your favorite candy]. I enjoy how much of it tastes. Some candies are so completely satisfying that I wonder why it hasn't been part of my life for such a long time. Why have I let myself miss out on such bliss? One thing I can't seem to turn down would be the love-it-or-hate-it joy that comes from none other than...candy corn. I don't think I am going to like it, but I know that I do like it because I have memories of liking it, so I try it, and I like it. I like not just the taste that reminds me of roasted marshmallows, but I like the memories associate with it. How often do we love things for the memories associated with it? As a kid I nibbled each layer down to the next in attempt to discover if each color had a distinct flavor. That's what I love about kids...their curiosity. Kids are curious, kids wonder, imagine, assume, and try things. I don't always love trying new things. I am adventurous when it's on my terms, but I don't love trying new things. I'm sure that makes me sound like a prude. I'm game for adventure, being silly, standing out for being ridiculous or trying new things, but only when I want to. Like I've mentioned before, I fear failure, I like perfection. I know I'm nothing close to it, but it's sure worth a shot. I'm talking to much about myself here. Let me start this over.

I dont' like candy, but I love candy corn. Candy corn is delicious, I have some on my side table that is currently taunting me in this semi-inebriated state so late at night after a long day. That was a run on sentence i think. Sorry about that. I hate those. I love editing. I would love to be an editor. I think it is seriously fun. What do you think is fun that most others might not? Math? Accounting? Chemistry class? Cleaning your toilet?

This is my brain on crack. Sorry about that. I never promised these would be good or interesting or make sense or be funny. These spaghetti thoughts are a release and a discipline for me. This is imperfection at it's best and me at my worst. Thanks for playing along...if you got this far. You don't know how much it pains me to hit the "publish post" button. That bright orange button staring me down and blinding my tired eyes. The pain is keeping me from hitting it...and continuing to make me ramble on. Again, sorry about that.

Did you follow? I don't blame you if you didn't. I didn't even follow myself.

Kbye.

play it again sam

I've had a lot of really serious conversations lately and I'm ready for a break. I'm like a kid in a candy store with his hands tied behind his back and the scent of candy corn wafting through the air. I'm ready to let loose and simply play. I'm all about being a listening ear and sharing my completely honest opinion when asked, but there is a time for work and time for play, and now I say, is time to play.

That's all.

thingsgirlssay

I may regret this, but check me out (no, not like that) on twitter at @thingsgirlssay

It can only get better from here.

[Please note tweets will made by myself and another. Speaking of which, remember when no one knew how to talk about Twitter in the past tense? Talk about inappropriate.]

follow me #2

I should be fired for my lack of blogging. Crap, I hate when people talk about their blogging habits within their blog. As you know, I enjoy writing. What you may not know is that in attempt to write the best, most perfect, fabulous, award winning blogs, I am often paralyzed by the thought of failure. So instead, I read other people's blogs.

In attempt to break that habit, I'm just going to write. Remember when I rambled like only a girl can do? Well, here you go again. A briefing into my spaghetti thoughts.

Topic: The VMA's

I love the VMA's. Have I ever told you that? I know you know I am slightly obsessed with all things black, with all things pop culture, with all things f-a-b-o-l-o-u-s. Speaking of which, it's unfortunate that Chris Brown got the bad end of the deal. Yes, he's a wife/girlfriend/woman beater, but you can't help but feel a little bad for the guy, right? He was like, 20 at the time. Not a great excuse, but who's to say I wouldn't go CRaAZYy if I became famous? Have you seeeen Lady Gaga lately? A meat dress? Come on woman. I might prefer being a vegetarian to doing that, and that is an unfortunate life to live. My life, on the other hand, is quite fortunate. I'm loving it. Loving life, and loving friends, experiences, work, my 20's. All of the above. Love it. What don't I love? I'm sure something. Ya, rather not dwell on that. I know OTHER people don't love life. I wish they would. It would sure make things better for the rest of us. If only people thought outside the box, outside of themselves. Have you seen that new show, "World of Jenks"? Seems like a good guy. I think this will for sure be a good one. Although it may have brought up some feelings of inadequacy regarding one of my many complexes in life (that I'm secretly retarded and my family [or someone] pays my "roommate"/caretaker to be my friend and watch over me while I go to "work" and learn life skills). Oh well, even if I am, all the more power to me. Why do girls have complexes? Is it a girl thing or just a "me" thing? Maybe it's a "I think too much and read into too much" thing. At least I'm able to find joy as I read between the lines. The Bible is a great place to do that too. Like when Jesus gets all pissed at people selling stuff in the temple. What does he do? His first instinct is not to yell, hit, punch, or throw a temper tantrum. Instead he braids a whip. First of all, who taught Jesus how to braid? And second, that's pretty freakin' intense to whip someone! He was clearly P.O.'d. Back to the braiding though...can't you just imagine Jesus chillin' in his jammies and dirty feet with Mary as she teaches him to braid just before bed time? I mean, clearly he needed to figure out what to do with those dreads of his so they wouldn't get all knotted up. Did he braid other people's hair? His disciples? Is that what they really did after they broke bread in the upper room? I can imagine it now: Jesus and the disciples laying on their big comfy couches having a sleep over with his BFF's, eatin' some leavened bread, sippin' on some purple drank, braiding each others' hair. OK, maybe it was just wine, but I couldn't help the pop-culture reference. See? Gotta love pop culture. It's like a full circle. And here I am, back at the beginning.

Did you follow?