no lazy susan

I haven't been this grateful for a day to end in a long time. Thank you Jesus. I've never more looked forward to putting pajamas on and turning off the world. While I may not be unplugging from my laptop or other such electronic devices, I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to unplug from the world, the week, this month, and today. Nothing particularly bad has happened. In fact, I'm beyond grateful for new and greater, deeper friendships than I've had in the past-er-ever. "Ilovemylife" is something you may hear me say throughout the day. And if you haven't heard it, just assume I'm thinking it.

Arriving at home today, knowing what lie ahead, I was in quite a mood. When Thursday comes, I want the day and week to be done. By Thursday I need space. I need quiet. I need to step aside and away, for just a moment. Tonight, however, would not be the night to do any of those things. So instead of lounging at home catching up on DVR, in the few moments I had, I put myself to bed. I cannot say I fell into a deep slumber, but a deep enough rest to ignore the hunger pang so strong I thought my stomach might turn itself inside out and begin appetizing on it's fellow organs. Upon waking I had a flashback of childhood. Of those few moments where nothing would fix my attitude except the nap I so desperately needed. It's amazing how loud your head and stomach can become when they are not pleased. In the moment before (and ultimately after) my slumber I realized just how loud my body can be. It's crazy how strong and selfish our bodies are. Selfish in this sense can be good and bad. Good because it tells me when I need to STOP. Bad because it will do anything and cross any path to make me do it.

It's my own fault for ignoring my body. I'm a shover, a pusher, and "power through it", a "figure it out", a "we'll make it work", "we'll make it happen", "I'll be OK" kind of person. While all of those things may be totally true and a part of who I am, it also means I will not deal with my own ish for the sake of making something happen and happen well. Just like when I am ravishingly hungry and willing to cross anyone or anything in my path to to satisfy my physical hunger, I am equally willing to plow through life ignoring my ish and avoiding *gasp* feelings for the sake of getting things done.

The concept of getting things done always brings me back to the story of Mary and Martha. In fact, this story has come up a few times in my life recently.

38As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed.[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
Luke 10:38-42

How often do I become consumed with the "doing" part of life? I'm no lazy Susan and I definitely don't spend much time with Jesus' feet. I want to choose the better choice, and I don't want it taken away from me. Our culture is so focused on the doing and getting things done, that we forget to experience the moment. The moments of joy. The moments of laughter. The moments of peace, sorrow, pain, and experiences we may face only once. We forget to experience God's presence, despite that fact that it is constantly smothering us like a coddled baby. I hate that about our culture. I hate that I've let it become who I am--or rather, what I do. I fill my days back to back feeling lazy if I don't. But when do I actually take the time to hear God's voice? How could I with the constant hum of this that and the other. You know the stuff. I don't need to tell you what fills your day, your ear, your wallet, your hands.

Jesus told the rich young ruler in Luke 18: 22 to "Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." While some might say wealth was the young ruler's downfall, I think this is true only in the sense that the young ruler did as he was told making sure to follow the rules and commandments but left no room for the King. By the time the ruler came to Jesus asking for eternal life his hands were too full with the stuff of life to be filled with God's love.

So what's your stuff? What needs to go? God is in constant communication with us and prayer goes two ways. Prayer is not a speech, it's a conversation. God is God no matter what but if we want to experience that in its entirety then we must be willing to make room for him. We must be willing to give up our stuff, take up our cross, and sit at Jesus' feet.