Currently, I feel like throwing up. Yum! Just what you wanted to hear, I am sure. But this time I don't think it has anything to do with something I ate. I think it has everything to do with anxiety.
To suffer from anxiety is to have, "a vague unpleasant emotion that is experienced in anticipation of some (usually ill-defined) misfortune." The part that gets me there is the whole "usually ill-defined" thing. Reading that part alone seems to discount the feelings that accompany anxiety. It gives the lump in the throat, the stomach discomfort, the panicked breathing, the adrenaline pumping, the sense of homesickness (when at home) less credit than it deserves, as if it were a figment of my imagination. Or is it?
Ill-defined. What does that even mean? Well, apparently it is an adjective that means "poorly stated or described." In that case, I supposed that is a valid statement, and therefore a valid definition of anxiety. After all, I never can quite seem to pinpoint my anxiety, er, "misfortune."
But maybe the focus here should not be just on "ill-defined" but rather on the "ill" part. Is anxiety an illness? According to most, yes. But if it's based on "ill-defined misfortunes" then wouldn't that imply that it's based on nothing? Nothing worth being based on anyways. And if that is the case, then how do you know if you have anxiety or if you are just making it up?
Shoot, that was something only an anxious person would say, huh? Oh well. Whatever!
I think by the end of this brief post I have diagnosed myself. See at the beginning, where I said "...something off my chest...not really sure what I am getting off my chest..."? Don't you agree that fits right in with the whole "ill-defined" thing? Before I even knew the exact definition of anxiety my comments fit right in with it. Looks like I ratted myself out.
Now, what to do with this ill-defined nothingness that seems oh so present.
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