before i'm dead and gone

I've been known to talk about [swoon after] "The Buried Life" boys. I'm not sure if it's their boyish looks, fervor for life, or willingness to put themselves on the line that makes them so appealing. Either way Lord knows these boys have balls and a willingness to sacrifice them for the sake of living a full, adventurous life.

Since watching the first season of the show last winter I myself have thought about what my own buried list might look like. For those of you who have not seen the show, 4 boys (in their 20's) have created a collaborative list of the things they want to accomplish before they die (i.e. are buried). Such a list might also be knows as a "Bucket List", as in, "Before I kick the bucket, this is what I want to do with my life." My own list is elementary in comparison, although I've managed to a include a few things I would legitimately love to pull off at some point in my life. What I love about the show is these guys' willingness to drop everything, get a bus, and make shit happen. Now, I realize these guys have a T.V. show, financial support, and a huge following at this point, but they had to get the show, the money, and the bus somehow, right? You may call it chance or luck, but after watching two seasons worth of what some might call youthful antics, I see a bunch of ballsy guys willing to work for what they want.

Now the question is, can I say they same for myself?

Plenty of things have prevented me from accomplishing things I would have loved to accomplish by now. Part of me accepts that it is what it is and certain things will happen in their own timing. With that being said, however, how much am I taking a hold of my life to make things happen? I realize I cannot simply sit back and wait for my life, my dreams, my goals to happen; it just doesn't work like that. I know that, and yet the endless possibilities are strangely paralyzing. I hate that quality about myself.

So what am I going to do about it?

That is a great question for someone who is naturally adventurous. You'd think that "independence" would couple well with an adventurous spirit, but apparently there is a no two for one sale in that department. At the same time though I am quite adventurous. I am confrontational and seem to have no problem with honesty. I surprise myself sometimes with the things I say or am willing to do. I wish there were more of a pattern to go off of, but really I'm not sure how much consistency there is in regard to my spontaneity. You might say I'm a little bit "scattered". Perhaps I am more adventurous when in the company of good friends. Safe people. People I can be myself with. If that's the case, then I better get these people on board to help me get on with my list.

Speaking of which. What's on your list? If you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine.

the experiment

You might think we're obnoxious, you might think we're insane. We're a little less PC than maybe we ought to be, and we don't really seem to care a whole lot what you think we are. We're loud and obtrusive, the life of the party. You might think we're a sorority or Christian club gone awry, but the one thing we are is an experiment. That is, floor 2.

In true little sister form I carried on the tradition of starting my freshman year of college on floor 2. From the beginning we were a force to be reckoned with, a breed of our own. This floor might be different than floor 2's of decades past, but we're not one you want to (or can) forget.

What fascinates me most is something I learned tonight, from the mouth of babes. We might never have been. Why? Because we were an experiment. Despite our differences there is something that brought us together. And I don't mean that in the "there is a reason for everything" or "God has a plan for your life" kind of way, although both might very well be true. What brought us together? Fashion. Ironically it was the one part of me that didn't want to be there, the part of me that dreamt of big cities, design classes, and sewing tutorials. But for the time being, those dreams were put aside in place of Bible classes, morning chapel, and the Caf.

I think we all put something aside to be there. Something that ultimately brought us all together. We might not last. We may not get along. We might blow up. But we were worth a shot. In 6 years we've fought, forgotten, disagreed, and BloWn UP. In 6 years we've laughed together more than a group of laughing yogis. Laugh at what you ask? Mostly each other. We've spent time apart--weeks, months, even years. We've been the thorn in each other's sides. We've crossed boundaries and said too much.

The thing that stands out to me most now though is that we've changed. For the better.

It's been incredible to see the transitions each of us have made or experienced in our own lives. We're married, we're having babies, engaged, single, confident, fun, beautiful, driven. Every last one of us is fighting for what we want in life, and laughing at ourselves and each other in the meantime.

Gone are the days of sneaking around together or behind each other's backs. Gone are the days of sneaking out, sleeping in, sneaking others in, and taking midnight runs to satisfy our midnight munchies and secure our bodies' hold onto our freshman 15. Gone are our insecurities and unhealthy dependencies. We are a force to be reckoned, a powerhouse of personality. Personalities that might not always blend, but can be laughed at nonetheless. We are each unique in our own right. We live our own lives and count different blessings. But we are and will always be--floor 2.