still

I’ve been waking up before the crack of dawn the last few days, and I’m pissed! This has happened before, but I’d really like to know the actual cause of my restlessness. So far, all I can conjure is that it’s because:

1. Those damn birds! That's exactly what I thought around 3am when I first heard them, and it’s what I thought when I woke up “officially” at 5am, It’s also what I am currently thinking, at precisely 5:47am. Apparently March brings Spring AND the birds that come with it. I should probably be more encouraged by the “awakening of spring” and the sound of birds chirping out my window, but I’m not. They are loud. Irritating. And should be shot.*
2. I love breakfast. But I ALWAYS love breakfast. Mind you, I think I’ve eaten the same thing for breakfast for the last 4 years, but something about it still gets me out of bed in the morning. Occasionally I go to bed thinking about it...and occasionally I switch it up. Either way, I love it, but it’s no reason to wake up before the crack of dawn.
3. Too much sleep. Is it really possible? Apparently so if I choose option “c” as my final answer to this rather annoying situation.
4. Too little food. This would be the second part to option "b". Still trying to figure this one out...
5. I gave up T.V. for lent. How does that have to do with anything you ask? Well, If it’s not the answer to my problem, it surely would be the solution to these early mornings. (See explanation below)

*OK, maybe not shot for real, but other options with the same end result welcome (peace and quiet).

Although I started lent a week late, I’m still attempting to take it seriously. "Seriously" in the sense that I am sticking to it as much as possible, debating if I will take Sundays off as in traditional lent. I’m not a “traditional” lenter. I did not grow up doing it, I did not understand the concept until recently, and to be honest, I previously associated it with Catholics, which I previously assumed were crazy (i.e. probably not really Christians). All that to say, I’ve practiced lent a few times in my adult life and this year is no different. Except that I am fasting T.V., which is actually really hard.

I love T.V. And when I say “love”, I mean it like a fat kid who loves cake...and watching T.V. while eating it. Prior to my birth, my family didn’t own a T.V. From my understanding, T.V. was practically sin in their book. Then they moved, I came along, and now I am making up for the years they spent without T.V. As a 2nd grader my sister broke her arm riding down a hill, on a bike, with no brakes (although she still blames the other girl who got in her way). “Do you want to come with us to the hospital, or stay at home with your brother?” asked my dad. Well of course I chose home. Why? To catch up on “The Simpsons” with my brother. Nor could you peel me away from any good Pauly Shore movie or quality 90’s cinema (Son-in-Law, Biodome, Mrs. Doubtfire, Encino Man, Empire Records...you know, the wholesome stuff). So, all that to say, I loved T.V., I love T.V., and I will always love T.V.

Back to lent and my early rising (no shining). If for lent you are supposed to give something up that you truly love, a vice, then T.V. is it for me. While I can’t say T.V. consumes my life, it’s definitely my fall-back way to relax, unwind, fill time, fold laundry, play Words with Friends, or the like. Now, 3 days into it, I’m enjoying the peace, quiet, and productivity of my new T.V. free life, but also blame it for waking up earlier. Why? Because I now get bored at night with nothing to do, so I get into bed, I get bored on the internet, can’t yet bring myself to read, catch up on Word with Friends, then fall asleep, early. Which means I wake up, early. Which means, I have time to write about it. Because I have nothing better to do at this un-godly hour.

Maybe I’m on a T.V. detox. Getting it out of my system, recalibrating my brain and body and how they work together. I’m confident I now have too much time to think, process, think, and think some more. Perhaps I’ll come up with a new hobby by the time this is over. Maybe I’ll become a reader (I’ve always wished that for myself), or maybe I’ll have a genius epiphany in all my spare time that will a) make me millions, and (most importantly) b) make me really happy. Or maybe I'll just catch up on a month's worth of T.V. stored up in my DVR (I sure hope it can store that much!).

Well, there it is. There they are. I’ve given you 5 options as to why I’ve been waking up before the crack of dawn. I’d also like for you to know that, at precisely 6:26am, as I finish this post, it is STILL dark outside. Still. Oh, and the birds are STILL chirping. Still. I guess now this is my opporunity to BE STILL. To be still and wait on the Lord (Psalm 37:7).