ignorance is bliss

There is nothing like a broken foot to stop you, literally, dead in your tracks. There is also nothing like a broken foot to make you feel totally useless, a little lazy, overwhelmed, exhausted, underwhelmed, bored, and nonetheless totally annoyed and emotionally dramatic. I guess you could say I've spent a little too much time with myself in the last 3 1/2 days, which is definitely not a good place for me to be. Sure, maybe I have had or will have a multitude of life altering epiphanies, but I also can't help but rationalize them, blaming them primarily on the 48 hrs+ that I've spent on Vicodin.

As introverted as I may be, as much as I love T.V., being by myself, and being a homebody, there IS such a thing as too much of a good thing. T.V. lasted about 24 hrs, being by myself lasted about the same, and the whole "homebody" thing is about over. I've discovered I'm not very good at doing nothing. Actually, I've known this for quite some now, but knowing and feeling are two different things. I've KNOWN for some time that I am not good at doing nothing, but now I've truly FELT what it means to do nothing, so know I know know that I am not good at doing nothing. Some people have such a talent, to appreciate nothingness, but I am clearly not that person.

I've also never been (in my adult memory) this dependent on others. My roommate definitely wins the "Roommate of the Century" award. Too bad there's no such trophy for that. Even my close friends (co-workers) deserve kudos, or an honorable mention for "Friends of the Year". There should be a trophy for that one too. Oh yes, and "Sister of the Year" should be in there too. I'm often to busy being the do-gooder to let other people help me, and to really be able to appreciate others for what they have to offer. It's bittersweet on the other side. You may perhaps want to be in my shoes, but I'd rather be in yours. Like they say, the grass is always greener on the other side.

I'm not sure what "epiphanies" I've had. I've had a lot of thoughts though. Nothing life altering, but enough to make you stop in your tracks, get frustrated, then appreciate what's on the other side. It's true, ignorance is bliss. I would have been totally OK not knowing what a broken foot felt like. Who knew physical pain could actually bring you to tears? Not just any tears. Sobbing, snot out your nose, heaving air in and out, ugly cry-face kind of tears. Ever wonder what you looked like when you cry? I do. How else will I know if I have the ugly cry-face like that teen mom on "Teen Mom"? Poor thing. I bet nobody ever told her. Wonder what she thinks now that she's seen herself on T.V.

Any who. I'm really just starting to ramble now. Remember? That's what I do well. I may not ramble in conversation, but I definitely ramble when I write...when I think.

I'd really like to be done with this whole boot thing, but I better not start thinking that now. I've got 5 1/2 more weeks with this bad boy. Wish me luck! And if you happen to see my cry-face anytime soon, remember what I said. Ignorance is bliss.